(Source: punkmermaid, via miserablelabourlayabout)
Octocon: Concise: What have we got planned? -
Octocon is presenting a mini-convention called Concise this coming May 10th at 7pm in Exchange Dublin, wherein one can experience a whole convention over the course of a couple of hours! It’ll be epic fun. We hope.
Currently, and tentatively of course, we’ve got some cool stuff a-happening….
how to decode a person with an anxiety disorder -
things we are trying to do all the time:
- be safe
things we can’t help but do all the time:
- second-guess ourselves
- behave impulsively and reactively
- take everything personally
- worry
- worry
- worry
- have difficulty accepting compliments
- have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
- have difficulty finding the courage to respond
- have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
- make a huge deal out of the smallest thing
things you should keep in mind:
- we’re scared of everything
- pretty much all of the time
- it’s an actual disorder
- it manifests as impulsive behavior
- you can’t fix us with words
- telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
- it’ll only make us feel silly
- and then we’ll worry even more
- “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
- like that
- also, we wear a lot of armor
- cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
- we constructed this armor as children
- we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
- but there is a nice person under there, we promise
things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
- stick around
- ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
- be willing to change the place or situation if not
- activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
- talk to them even when they might not talk back
- (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
- try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
- (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
- (and they knows this)
- give them time to respond to you
- they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
- they will anticipate being judged
- it took me four hours just to type this much
- even though i sound casual
- that’s because i have an anxiety disorder
things you shouldn’t do:
- tell us not to worry
- tell us we’ll be fine
- mistake praise for comfort
- ask us if we are “getting help”
- force us to be social
- force us to do things that trigger us
- “face your fears” doesn’t always work
- because—remember—scared of everything
- in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself
emergency action procedure for panic attacks:
- be calm
- be patient
- don’t be condescending
- remind us that we’re not “crazy”
- sit with us
- ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
- remind us that we are breathing
- engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
- if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
- or breathe through our nose
- or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
- ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
- help us change it
- usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down
if you have an anxiety disorder:
- it’s okay.
- even if you worry that it’s not okay.
- it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
- you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
- i know there’s a person under all that armor.
- and i know you feel isolated because of it.
- i won’t make you take it off.
- but know that you are not alone.
♥
I’ve reblogged this before. But yeah, seriously. It’s been especially bad lately.
I read this, started crying, and decided to reblog. Because yeah, I’m there right now.
(via mind-cave)
(Source: onagenderbender, via nojoywithoutsweat)
Maybe the global deficit in good science education is merely a plot to prepare us for Alan Turing’s synthetic resurrection, wherein he exacts his revenge. This is also why we need LGBTQ History Month.
No justice, no peace.
(via gailsimone)
The chronic pain in my hands is acting up, so I haven’t been able to draw tonight. Will take the extra time to think of something non-vulvic to draw. Maybe I’ll come up with something vaginal instead.
Unfortunately they don’t come with a warning very often.
Yay, I got to draw myself Avatar: The Last Airbender-style! ^_^
Going to your (Catholic) funeral -
I’m reposting this one in full from my main blog, because.. well, because I’m not sure how to summarise or where to edit something like this.
I went to a funeral today.
I feel like I write a lot about going to funerals. I wish I didn’t have the opportunity. But I do, and they make me think. This was the first funeral I’ve been to in the years since I left the catholic church where I wasn’t one of the primary mourners. My granduncle died. Though I loved him dearly, I am neither his daughter nor his granddaughter. I had the space to think a little about what was happening, about what I found beautiful and comforting and what I did not.
Being at a mass is difficult. I have such profoundly negative feelings towards the catholic church, but I respect the fact that this is a church to which my uncle was incredibly devoted. There’s a very fine line between attending, showing respect and expressing grief for the person I love, and not being dishonest about my own position. So I do what a lot of people do: I attend, I sit quietly on a pew, I listen to the words being said and try to focus on the reminiscences and individual meanings. I do not kneel when asked, though, and I do not say any prayers. I’m the only person I can see who can kneel who isn’t. That feels strange, and I feel so self-conscious. I think my integrity needs me to not kneel, though. I don’t go for Communion. I do shake hands when this is offered- but I always meet someone’s eyes with a question before shaking hands with them, and am happy to smile instead. Because I do want to share solidarity and compassion, and because I don’t want to foist unwanted contact on anyone.
I listen to the singing. It’s beautiful. I will never deny the aching, tragic beauty and hope of the requiem. The choir are people my uncle sang with for decades. Their voices are strong and clear, just like his was. Listening, I think about how so much of religion is based on this moment- when we acknowledge that everything and everyone must end, when we grieve and ache and we long to create and communicate what they meant and who they were. How much of it is simply the impossibility of reconciling this.
Then they talk about his life, about all the things that he did- about his love of sport and his time as President of Richmond Rugby Club, about his devotion to his family. His love of music, his skill as a carpenter, the love he shared with his wife. And then they say that with a life so well lived, he will surely be rewarded generously after his death. And I think that they’ve missed the point. The huge, beautiful point that a life so well lived rewards itself so many times over, that the things and people to which he was devoted must have been such a rich and beautiful reward for him. The hundreds of people who came to his funeral, the deep love in their grief, the stories they all had- isn’t this the reward? Can’t we just celebrate and grieve a life?
But I don’t say any of this, because I know his faith was as important to him as all of the rest of it. And I know that he probably spent his last moments looking forward to reuniting with the people who he loved who have already gone. And in my own way I do respect that. More than that, I do understand it. There were moments at that mass, when the priest described what those reunions much be like, that I let myself imagine them. In those moments, I longed for it to be true. I don’t believe, but I do understand.
And then we are at the grave. It is bitterly cold, the noise of the wind through the trees almost drowning out our voices. Until one person starts to sing, and another, and another. And in the cold and the rain, huddled together against the biting wind, we raise our voices in sadness, in joy, and in love.
In that moment I realise that this is what we do. We comfort each other and we love each other. When we are dying and in pain, we take away the pain and we sit with and hold and comfort each other. When we are scared, we stand with each other and we hold each other. When we grieve, we stand together, we make endless cups of tea, and we love each other. In that moment, I know that that’s enough.
(via rebelpachelbel)
Easpa Géag: Tea Etiquette in Ireland and the UK -
OFFER YOUR GUEST TEA AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVE - GIVE THEM THE LARGER MUG, BECAUSE THEN THEY CAN HAVE MORE TEA IN IT, AND MORE TEA IS BETTER - OFFER THEM MORE TEA AS SOON AS THEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR MUG OF TEA, BECAUSE MORE TEA IS BETTER.
IF SOMEONE LOOKS STRESSED, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UPSET, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE LOOKS TIRED, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE HAS JUST COME IN FROM THE RAIN, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE HAS JUST RECEIVED BAD NEWS, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF YOU ARE WATCHING TV WITH SOMEONE AND THERE IS AN ADBREAK, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF YOU ARE MAKING YOURSELF TEA, OFFER TO MAKE EVERYONE ELSE TEA. IF SOMEONE IS NOT CURRENTLY HOLDING A MUG OF TEA, DOUBLE CHECK THAT THAT IS AN INTENTIONAL STATE OF AFFAIRS, AND THEY DO NOT, IN FACT, WANT A CUP OF TEA.
TEA.
(Source: the-ugly-derpling)
Dani is a sick girl. She slept all day and now she is watching cartoons and trying to regulate her body temperature.
Geddit?! Har har har. I am exhausted.
I was dancing like this all day today. The dogs were bemused. I, sadly, wasn’t wearing a snazzy suit, though. One day, you guys. One day.
PS: I ate the mini-Flake and it had no complaints. It was delicious.
Oh, internet.
This is amazing.